


I Love How You Love Me.

by OTPGirl



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: John infects Xander, John is infected, M/M, The Hive - Freeform, and sings a song while doing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTPGirl/pseuds/OTPGirl
Summary: "Xander is pacing around his lab, wanting to tear his hair out with worry. His husband is away on a mission, and they’ve lost all contact. Everyone on the mission is assumed dead, but Xander won’t accept that. John can’t be gone. He left this morning before Xander woke up, and they didn’t get to say goodbye. Xander can’t lose his husband without a goodbye.John comes back from a mission to Hatchetfield, and Xander is relieved.  But something about John is different.....
Relationships: Xander Lee/John McNamara
Kudos: 10





	I Love How You Love Me.

Xander is pacing around his lab, wanting to tear his hair out with worry. His husband is away on a mission, and they’ve lost all contact. Everyone on the mission is assumed dead, but Xander won’t accept that. John can’t be gone. He left this morning before Xander woke up, and they didn’t get to say goodbye. Xander can’t lose his husband without a goodbye. 

He would gladly wait in the ready room. That’s the last place that every agent is before a mission and the first place they enter when returning. But Xander’s pacing made the medical team that is on stand by nervous, and he was kicked out. He tried to argue, but was vastly outnumbered. He finally gave in, but only if they promised to come get him the second they know more about the away team they come get him. 

That was four hours ago. 

The knots in Xander’s stomach twist tighter and tighter as each minute ticks away on his watch, the one John gave him for a wedding present. The seconds tick by, the sound of it being the only sound in the room other than Xander’s footsteps. Xander doesn’t want to admit that John’s probably gone, but the longer he has to wait, the more likely it is that he’ll have to face the harsh reality. 

“Lieutenant?” An agent speaks from behind him, and Xander almost jumps. He had been so deep in his own head that he hadn’t heard them come in. “A chopper is landing, and General McNamara is confirmed to be on it.” 

Xander’s heart feels like it stops. This is the news he’s been waiting for. John is back. He’s here. The worry that was keeping him moving for the entirety of the day begins to drain from his muscles, and he has to put his hands on the table in front of him to keep himself upright. 

“Are you okay, sir?” The younger agent sounds concerned for him, and Xander waves them away with a hand above his head. 

“I’m okay. It’s just… the day is catching up with me.” He pushes himself up straight, rolling his shoulders back. Xander gestures to the door, tilting his head towards it, clearly telling the younger agent to go first. 

The two of them walk silently down the hall towards the ready room. When Xander gets there, John is standing there already, arms clasped behind his back. Xander rushes over to him, brushing past a few other agents as he does so. Once he’s directly in front of his husband, he throws his arms around his neck, burying his face in the blond man’s neck. John’s hands smoothly move from clasped behind his back to one resting on Xanders back, the other on his shoulder. 

“You better have a good reason for not getting back in communication.” Xander’s voice is muffled and shaky, but he has no doubt that his husband knows what he said. 

_“I love how your eyes close whenever you kiss me.”_ John says softly, melodically. Xander pulls back cocking his head to the side. He must have misheard him. It must be the stress from today. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch what you said.” John smiles at him, but something is off about it. It’s just a bit too wide, the look in his eyes is a bit too wild. 

_“And when I’m away from you, I love how you miss me.”_ There’s no mistaking what John said this time. No, not said. Sang. 

“John, now’s not the time for this.” Xander recognizes the song right away. It’s the one he and John used for their first dance at their wedding. One of them will often sing a few lines to the other in times of high stress to help calm them down and remind them that they’re loved. But now, after the mission John was just on, all it does is make Xander nervous. Something in the back of his mind is telling Xander that this isn’t right, but he pushes it away. This is John. It has to be. 

_“I love the way you always treat me tenderly.”_ The hand John had placed on Xander’s hip pull him in closer as the one on his shoulder slides up his arm and grabs his hand tightly, holding him in a perverse parody of how one might hold a lover while dancing. 

“Lieutenant! Get away from him!” One of the other agents in the room yells, and Xander thinks that’s a good idea. He tries to pull away from John, but no matter how much he tries, he just can’t break his grip. 

“John, you’re hurting me.” Xander begs softly, hoping that saying that will snap John out of whatever this is. Instead, John forcibly pulls him along in a waltz, dragging Xander when his feet trip over themselves.

 _“But, darling, most of all, I love how you love me.”_ As John softly croons this line, blue goo begins to drip from the right corner of his mouth. Xander doubles his efforts to get away from his husband. He can feel bruises beginning to form, but that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is Xander getting away. 

_“I love how your heart beats whenever I hold you.”_

Adrenalin pumps through Xander’s system. His breathing picks up, his mind flys through possible ways to get away, his heartbeats furiously, desperate to send blood to every part of his body that needs it. 

_“I love how you think of me without being told to.”_

Xander needs to find a way to not only get away from John, but also how to save him. He can’t just let this… thing win. He won’t let it take his husband from him that easily. Xander looks over his shoulder, worried that he’ll see an agent lining up to take a shot at John, but all the other agents are too preoccupied with other infected agents attacking. 

_“I love the way your touch is always heavenly.”_

Xander silently apologies to John as he resorts to attacking him. He swings his fist at his husband’s nose, wincing as he hears the crack when it connects. John’s grip doesn’t loosen. He doesn’t flinch back at all. In fact, if it wasn’t for the steady stream of blue goo running down his nose like it is blood, there would be no sign that John was even hit. 

_“But, darling, most of all I love how you love me.”_

“John. John. Please. I know you can fight this. You are the strongest person that I know. You can overpower this thing, but you need to try. I know you’re in there. Please, John, come back to me.” Xander begs, feeling tears begin to build in his eyes. Xander can’t escape from his husband’s crushing grip. The only way either of them are making it out of this is if John fights back. 

_“I love how your eyes close whenever you kiss me.”_

Any hope that Xander had left fades away as John continues singing. His husband is gone. In his place is a puppet being controlled by this thing. Xander knows that he’s going to be following very soon. He’s starting to get tired of the struggling. 

_“I love the way your touch is always heavenly.”_

In one final attempt to get John to let go, Xander lets his entire body go limp. John doesn’t even seem to notice, still dragging Xander along in a dance he wants no part of. The dancing comes to a dramatic stop when John dips him deeply, and Xander’s arm instinctively comes up to wrap around the back of his husband’s neck. 

_“But, darling, most of all I love how you love me.”_

John leans down and forcefully kisses Xander, who tries to close his mouth. Too little, too late, unfortunately. Something forces its way down his throat. Xander tries to gag, to force it back up, but it doesn’t work. He feels his lungs fill up with something, something that’s not a liquid, or a solid, or a gas. Whatever it is, it’s suffocating him. 

Xander’s lungs burn, he can feel his head begin to swim. He needs to breathe, but something is preventing him from pulling his head away. More of that substance is forced into him and he can faintly hear music begin to play in the background. 

_“I love how you hug me.”_

Xander shouldn’t be able to hear John’s voice, not while his mouth is pressed against Xander’s. None the less, he can hear it ringing clearly in his head. 

Would it… would it really be so bad to stop fighting?

_“I love how you squeeze me, tease me, please me.”_

He’ll get to be with John, forever. Isn’t that what he’s always wanted? What he signed up for when he and John exchanged their vows? Blue begins to replace the black encroaching on his vision, and the music gets louder, clearer.

_“Love, how you love me.”_

Xander’s lungs stop burning. He no longer feels like he needs to breathe. He feels better. If the Hive already made him feel better, why should he fight them? The blue gets stronger. 

_“I love how you love me.”_

Xander kisses his husband back, giving in to the blue.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy the sad?
> 
> Song is "I Love How You Love Me" by The Paris Sisters (but I prefer the Rusty Clanton version best)
> 
> Tumblr:   
> Ijustwantjohnmcnamaratobehappyok


End file.
